What Not To Do

What not to do is come to my door, ask to speak to "the other guy" (I live with three other males and one female), then, upon me repeatedly saying I don't know who you mean say,

"The guy I smoked a joint with at four in the morning."

Sorry. I don't know what the hell you're talking about. And you look sketchy.

Success!

I raised $605 for the radio station! $625 if you count a late one!

I have to say, I don't like bugging all my friends for donations. It's totally worthwhile, but still a bummer in a way. So huge, huge thanks to everyone who donated. That little station is an important place. It helps keep our town cool, and shows people around the world that we live in a fun and vibrant place. It puts us on the coolness map.

I played lots of songs relating to money tonight. But I ended with this one:

"You call me up and talk
About money
I don't want to hear anymore
About money"

- Embrace

So Excited For This!!

I saw these gentlemen play about five years ago. I was BLOWN AWAY. This is gonna be AWESOME!!

Unser Haus

I really like where I live. The place gets a little dirty sometimes, but it seems like we all have the same threshhold for what is too much.

I was doing some vacuuming today (!) and the thought occurred to me that since people have been drifting in and out of here for who knows how many years, it's probably been a long time since the house has seen a really rigorous, move-out style cleaning. Not that I care.

Since I'm either not here or hanging out in my room, the state of the place doesn't bother me too much. And the rent is a bargain. It's like I have some cheap cable deal where I only pay for the three channels I actually watch.

I feel like there's a bit of a tradeoff though. For example, would I ever bring my parents here? I suppose there's no reason why I shouldn't, but I'd hate to have to field questions about age and lifestyle. I guess it wouldn't be like them to do that anyhow.

No, this is a good situation, with good people. I think we're in a position that we can keep it that way for quite a while.

The Ego-Wank-Bank Is Running Low

Which is why I'm posting shit I did in 2003, even after linking it just a few posts ago.

Shame, von Foolisness. Shame.

If I Haven't Bugged You About It Already...

Do this.

Obligatory Homebrew Update

To recap:

"Benjamin's Autumn Ale":

I took a raspberry wheat recipe, tossed out the raspberries (figuratively) and added 2kg of maple syrop, 10 cinnamon sticks and 10 cloves of nutmeg. I steeped the wheat/spices for longer than usual, so it's a little murky and I'll be filtering it. It smells pretty good. If I have time, I'll bottle it this weekend.

"Sheena's Black Cat Stout":

This is made from a kit. Dark and smokey. I can bottle this one too, but time will be a factor if it's going to be done this weekend.

Long story short, these should be ready at about the same time. Our house doesn't have as many parties as it used to, and the homebrew should help that situation. During the power failure the other night, 4/5 of the apartment had a fun popcorn barbecue on the back deck. It made me nostalgic for the back-deck-barbecue era. It's time to bring that stuff back.

Edit: Benjamin and Sheena are our cats. The homebrew colours correspond approximately to the appearance of the cats.

However you feel about sports, you've got to admit... this is intense. The guys on the other team look worried.

All The Violence

I don't usually comment on it. What is there to say? Stabbing and shooting are bad. You're right.

The Word "Gay"

It's often used to describe banal things in a negative way. Do I judge an otherwise well-meaning person harshly for doing this? No, but I don't use that vernacular myself. The last time I did, it was around someone who actually was. I didn't know at the time, but when I found out I felt really shitty. He didn't seem offended, but still.

I'm just not a fan of that particular use of language. Ironically, when my brother and I were roommates, we called each other the f-word constantly. Of course, we know each other very well, and he's no homophobe. But in just about any other context... no.

Racial slurs are very specific, but plenty of straight people get called the f-word. Does one, therefore, have to be gay to "reclaim" this word? In my opinion, no. But it is a word that's normally used only by neanderthals. So if you're going to use it sarcastically or ironically, you'd better be sure the context is clear to everyone in earshot, whether they know you or not.

This was a weird thing to write about. Less random than my normal fare.

I'm On Fire! I'm On Fire!

While biking home from work today, I felt this odd burning sensation in my leg. I did my best to ignore it (as per policy) but eventually it got so bad that I had to stop and see what the hell was going on. It was like Fire got married to Acid and their small baby was biting me.

Turns out, I had a nine volt battery in my pocket and my car keys were causing it to short circuit and blast a lot of heat.

That's about the most interesting thing that happened to me today.

At The Music Store

There must be something wrong with me. I can't tell the difference between two electric guitars going through the same amp. I can't tell a good chorus pedal from a bad one. My only criteria for judging an amplifier are "how loud is it" and "is there reverb, or no".

I bought a used chorus pedal today and the guy said if I didn't like it I could return it tomorrow. I'm gonna try it out, but the only way I could see myself returning it is if it cuts out or doesn't come on at all. Any chorus pedal in a storm. I've never heard one that didn't sound exactly like the last.

Almost invariably, I'll get to the music store and all of the staff will be engrossed in very technical conversations with the pickiest of customers. Ok I'll grant you, that's their job. I'll also grant you that next to no musician on the planet is less fussy about gear than I am. It's just sort of an isolating feeling sometimes, because I know exactly what I want and have no questions to ask... and as such, am apparently unique among musicians. So I wait.

Finally, a clerk becomes available.

Me: "Could I have one of those ______, please?"

Clerk: "Sure, we have __ varieties to choose from."

M: "I dunno, just give me the cheapest one."

C: "Well this one right here costs a little more but you should buy it because _____, ____ and _____."

M: "Look, I really don't care. The cheapest will be fine for what I'm gonna do with it, trust me."

*********************************************************************************

In other news, my amp has been in the shop since early July, but apparently it'll be fixed "soon".

Der Junge Baron

1997.

This Band Never Ceases To Melt My Brain

I'm listening to Swallow and some other EP tracks right now and I have to say I feel more alive for having done it. If they had a recorded output of the size and quality G"B_V does I would never leave my room.



On a related note, I'll be seeing this band in a few hours:

We Don't Need Drums

I've never bothered to get a fb account. This article suggests it is losing favour with some. I have no opinion on it either way, but this is the first really negative press I've seen about it.

Sending Mixed (Backwards) Messages

The other day I was listening to a G/B\V song that prominently features backwards messages. I get strange feelings when I hear these, like the band I'm listening to is up to no good. Of course, I'm in my mid 30s now and realize how silly that is. But there was a time when I was pretty naive.

The year: late 1984, or (more likely) early 1985. I was 12 years old, in grade seven and just beginning to develop an identity as a mulleted metalhead. I didn't fit in with the real hardcore burnout/stoner metal dudes (one guy in my class was rumoured to be seventeen years old), possibly for reasons relating to social class (which I would not have understood at the time). I didn't fit in with the jocks either, possibly for the same reason, but in reverse. One guy I did really connect with was a dude named Robert H (not the Rob you know) who sat in front of me in homeroom. He was a lot like me. Nerdy, awkward, without a lot of friends, but clearly into metal. It was Robert who first introduced me to this band. That's a good story too, but not for right now!

After lending me the RTL cassette by the above band (to rave reviews), he thought he'd try getting me into these evil dudes. He loaned me a copy of this cassette to check out.

I brought it home and put it in my parents' stereo. My friend Dave from across the street was there. I thought it would be good to have someone else present, because I was a little scared of this band. To a naive 12-year-old from a devout christian family with no streetwise older siblings or role models, the art and song titles alone were quite intimidating. The low production value only added to the feeling... it was like the band was poor/unpopular because they were truly dangerous to society. I had heard rumours at school about this sort of music causing people to join cults and perform human sacrifices, or commit suicide (though we were still a few years away from this foolishness). I had no reason to believe this was not the case.

We listened to the first two songs. I had never heard music like this before. Had Robert not introduced me to M'ica, I could not even have imagined something so fast, heavy and lo-fi even existing. I kind of liked it, but I wasn't sure if I should.

Then we got to the third song, which deals with the subject of being buried alive. In the song's intro, you hear a priest administering last rites, followed by the sound of earth being shovelled onto a coffin. That in itself was innocuous enough... but what freaked Dave and I out was that the priest's voice had been put through a pitch shifter, to make his tone sound just a little bit surreal. Of course, I had no idea what a pitch shifter was, or that voices could be manipulated in that way. "Why does that guy sound like that???" It was evil as fuck to me, and scary. Dave felt it too:

"Hey, don't bands like this put stuff on their tapes that hypnotizes you?"

I wasn't sure of the answer, but I didn't want to find out. We stopped the tape then and there, and I returned it to Robert the next day.

A few months later my family moved to Darkside and I became friends with d*Rock - a guy slightly older than me who was very worldly, and really nice. And he LOVED V'm. I reborrowed the early tapes from him and other friends and developed a whole new appreciation for that band, which continues today. Their first two albums are two of the greatest in the history of metal.

Although the intro to track three is not backwards, I lump it in with backmasked music because of the freaky vocal effect. Back in the day, metal bands were constantly being accused of having evil subliminal messages in their music. And just for a fleeting moment, I totally bought into it. I miss that feeling... being truly frightened by music. Sometimes when I hear a backwards passage in a song I'll think to myself,

"YES SATAN. I WILL DO YOUR BIDDING." (grabs large knife and stabs randomly at air).

If only it were that simple! I'd make BB put backwards messages in our songs to force people to buy me beer.

A footnote: This is a mocumentary I saw on TV a year or two before the V'm incident. I didn't realize this film was fictional until I was in high school.

Der Erworbenesimmundefektsyndromwolf

Fucking awesome. Some people didn't get it, but I thought they threw down.

I actually kind of love when people get pissed off by this sort of music. I've said it before, audience polarization is a good thing in the arts.

Gentriwho?

A while back there was some debate going on about the gentrification of pubs in the North End. Today I had supper at the Oasis (a blue collar, neighbourhood pub in the middle of downtown H_x's most upscale shopping area) and wondered why "the cool kids" have never taken over this bar and turned it into an indie rock hotspot. Granted, my old surf band played there back in the 90's with these ladies, but the place never really took off as that sort of hangout. Perhaps the type of hip young person who likes "old man" bars generally does not live downtown or in the South End.

Anyway, I'm not advocating bar gentrification. It's just funny (ironic-funny) that you have to go to a fairly chic part of downtown to find a blue-collar pub that isn't trendy with the young people.

Future Brain

What if they invented a chip that could be installed in your brain at birth, giving you twice the intelligence of other people. Suppose it had no negative side-effects, but was so expensive that only 5% of the population could afford it for their children. Having the chip would pretty much automatically give someone access to the best jobs available, not to mention other advantages.

What would the end result of this be? Where would such an invention take society? Would it be right to ban the chip altogether? But what if some people want it? Surely all parents want the best for their children. What right would the government have to intervene? And if they didn't, would society become even more fucked?

These are rhetorical questions only.

Best Punk Rock Song Ever

Is this it? I dunno. I'd rather give the honour to a less political band, since I don't believe a punk rock song needs to be political to be great. But damn, this one just blows me away every time. I find it inspiring, despite the seemingly thousands of repetitions of the word "system". That's the only thing not awesome about this song.

Creativity Is In The Air...

...almost everywhere you look around.

I'm Gonna Be In A New Band

...with N and Slappa. It's gonna be a cross between this and that.

We've been talking about this for a long time, but today I recorded three practice demos for us to learn. They clock in at a combined four minutes flat. We'll learn one cover and see you all at RF$$.

This band's gonna sing in french. I came up with this idea that our press kit should be trilingual: chiac, standard french and english. Not as a joke either! On the other hand, you've got to smile at some of the examples at the bottom of that wiki. Em: you may be consulted on this as well.

Language is fun. For now, it's to hell with english and to hell with drum kits that are a pain in the ass to lug around. The Doctor will be providing the Rhythm. I will post updates on this situation.

Success

It's been said, usually in a negative context, that fame changes people. You'd have to be really naive to think this will not happen. On the other hand, what if you want to be changed (by fame), but not to the point of being a jerk - or at least, not yourself?

I think the solution is to control your own fame. Only shoot for enough to achieve your immediate goals, and no more. If those goals include palacial mansions with drugs piled up to the ceiling, then obviously you'll have to try a bit harder. But if all you really want is a little more self confidence, you need only strive for a modest sort of fame. And this is not difficult to do.

You may end up doing it entirely by accident.

Inspiration

If that doesn't make you go start a band, or at least write something in a derelict blog, I don't know what will.

These things don't translate well. And I wouldn't want to represent...