Selling Music Equipment To Neanderthals

me: I'd like to buy a snare stand, please. Preferably something bottom-of-the-line.

salesman: I think I have what you need. (goes to back room, emerges with box, hands it over)

me: Whoa! This is the heaviest snare stand I've ever seen!

salesman: It's the last one you'll ever need.

me: I don't know. I tend to fall on them a lot. I have a bit of a Keith Moon complex.

salesman: This'll hold your weight.