Who Are These People?

Eb. Known him since 2004; we met when I drove him to a show his old band was playing. We're in a band together and can music-nerd-talk up a storm.


Em. Met her in early 2006. She was at Slappa's party and I seem to recall she made some good cookies or perhaps hors d'oeuvres. She's quite funny, especially when it comes to visual jokes and DIY cartoons.



Ube. Met him in about 2003, through the radio station. He's got very good taste in music, and that's something we talked about a lot. Then he asked me to be in a band. We did this, and it got waaay outta hand. In the best possible way.



Ame. Met her in late 2005, at an art school gig my band was playing. We didn't talk much then. She's harnessing creativity. We have bonded over milkshakes.




Klc. I've known her since... geez, 2001 or 2? We've had a number of good chats, but my best time spent with her was when she accompanied GS to that fest in C-town. That weekend was pure entertainment.



Tobe. Met him in late 2004. We met by being in a band together. Knows music beyond his years. An ambitious man, and a good friend. We're distantly related.



Ker. Met her... maybe late 2006? I admit, I don't know her all that well. She's in some good bands though, and I enjoy drunkenly chatting with her at parties.



Poison. Met her in fall 1996. The story of how we met is comical, but that's another story for another day. I was in this band with her and Ube. That was some wild shit. She rocks fuckin' hard. Driven, and one crazy fucker. My lil sis.



Slappa. Met her in late 2005 at a GS show. Man, speaking of crazy! One of the funniest people I know. She cannot not be the life of the party.



B. Stormer. Met her in 2006 at one of Slappa's parties. We've enganged in some music nerd talk ourselves. She throws a good party, and is a courteous guest... by that I mean she always brings good food!



Briantology. Met him in early 2006 at the 'Barrel with CS Panther. Current roomie, and another on the "most funniest" list. We went to the same high school. If I'd have known him then, we'd probably have hung out. Except that he was a fucking baby at the time.



CS Panther. Met him in early 2006 at the Khyb, when he shot a doc about GS. I can't even have music nerd talk with this guy, I'd be in waaay over my head. He's an ex-roomie. Tells a great story. Everything he says sounds like a big deal!



белорус Рикк. I've known Рикк since fucking 1991. We met when he interviewed the band I was in before Old Band. Then, we helped form Old Band together. And he's not from белорус, he's from лавал. The french older brother I never had.



Not From Melmac. Met him around 2006. I want to be in a band with this guy. Covering you-know-who. It's a party if 'Fredo's in the house. He's almost as old as me! And still rocks! Which makes me feel that much less alone in this town.



Er ist der Roboter. Met him in 2002. I consider him a peer, as a guy who grew up in the same culture (read:80s) as I. This is significant because I really don't know many music-people my own age. He's a great songwriter.



La Barbe de Lyons. Met him in 2006. Not just a practitioner of DIY - an afficionado who raises it to an artform. A fellow brewer. A mainstay at our houseparties, and a damn entertaining one.



St-Shig-de-Bon-Gril. Met him briefly in 2005, got to know him as a roommate in 2006. What can I say about this guy? One of the most entertaining people I've ever met. The King of the party, yet modest as fuck. Tells a helluva story. We had some great drunken laughs. It's fucking too bad he had to move away.



Songs In The Key Of M. Met her... hm... maybe 2004 through the radio station? Got to know her as a roommate in 2006. I found her to be very wise. It didn't surprise me to find out she liked this band (as do I). She certainly tolerated a lot of messes here. She is also missed.



La Chica De Biblioteca. Met her in early 2006 at a craaaazzzy GS show. We had some music nerd talk as well. I always enjoy meeting people my age with similar tastes in music. She's seen some pretty impressive bands!



El Partido de la Televisión Esta Noche. Met him in 1998. The handle I've given him is the spanish translation of the name of his radio show (the avatar is also a hint). He's exactly one day older than I - so how crazy is it that I got teamed up with him during my year-and-a-half tenure at the other radio station. I learned a lot about radio from this man. Whether he knows it or not, he influenced the way I program to this day. I'm hoping to run into him this summer for the first time in five years.

And that last one is a link to BB's label. Check out the track from our new album!!!

A Parable About Growing Up, by The Baron

Johnny (age 7): "Mom, mom! Guess what happened at school today! A girl kicked a boy right in the dick!"

Mom: "Now Johnny, you know you're not allowed to say words like that. It is called a 'penis'. Now, what is that thing called?"

Johnny (hangs head): "A penis."

Mom: "That's right. And I don't want to hear any more foul language from your mouth, is that clear?"

Johnny: "Yes, mom."

Mom: "Now go to your room and think about what you've done."

(The next day at school...)

Johnny: "Hey Billy, did you hear what happened yesterday? A girl kicked a boy right in the penis!"

Billy (also age 7, raising fist menacingly): "It's called a fuckin' dick. Say it."

Johnny (hangs head): "She kicked him in the dick."

Billy (threanteningly authoritative): "That's better."

******************************************************************************

I think some parents set their kids up for social problems at school. At some point, a kid has to learn that home and school are two very different realities.

Johnny is screwed in this story; his mom will have the power to punish him for years to come. Billy is tougher than Johnny, and is effectively his boss at school. Unless Johnny fights Billy and runs away from home, he is disempowered. A smart child learns to avoid these confrontations before they happen, thus maintaining some measure of self-empowerment in a world full of bullies and puritanical parents. Sure, a scolding will always be better than a beating, but a clever child need not worry about either.

There is an art I'll call "How To Say Exactly The Same Thing To Two Different People In Two Different Ways". For a child, this can mean the difference between coming home with a black eye, and not. As adults, we're not likely to be worried about getting beaten up over semantics (certainly it can happen), but we can use this art in different ways for our gain. We can use it to be accepted by disparate groups of people. We can also use it to help us get what we want. Sugar/vinegar. Grease/tire iron. For better or for worse, I think the less school resembles home, the stronger this reflex becomes. And it can be very useful.

I should have become a businessman.

Das Radio

This week I've been volunteering to preview new releases at the radio station. There's only limited space for new CDs, and we can't have a bunch of crap stealing space from musicians who are actually good. I used to think that only cool artists would bother sending their stuff to college radio. Boy, was I wrong.

Hey, I'm in a band too. I want radio play as much as the next person, so it bums me out a little to give a crappy (if well-meaning) band the thumbs down. The fact of the matter is, good bands are far outnumbered by non-good. What do I mean by non-good? Well, there are two kinds of non-good:

"Fuck, this is awful. I can barely get through a song. Do I have to listen to all of this? Fucking please kill me if I do."

and

"Well... they sound sincere. Not very original though. That'd be alright if they just played with some blood'n'guts, or some soul or something. Take a chance already! Go out on a limb from what's happening today. Backward, forward, I don't care. Just gimme something, anything."

Out of the stuff I've previewed over the past year I'd say about 20% is the first example, 75% is the second, with the remaining five being good, or at least worthwhile.

When I'm evaluating a CD for the station I have to put my own tastes aside and think of the bigger picture. I don't listen to much techno, but I know what I like and what I don't. Same with hiphop, country or any number of genres. For the purposes of this entry I'll describe what I want in a rock band for the station's CD library.

First of all, if the music sounds "weird" to me, the disc is halfway there. We're trying to be diverse as we can. If your pop-punk-emo band sounds like every other in the genre, I don't feel that advances the station's listeners much. People listen to college radio to learn and be challenged a little; to hear stuff that isn't easy to find everywhere else. I remember when I got trained way back in the day, they told me I was under no obligation to play requests I didn't like. I view cataloguing the same way.

Often I find myself on the fence about a band. "Do we add them or no?" If a band is good enough to maaayyyybe consider, I might take popularity into account. Yesterday, for example, I was faced with a CD from this band. I'm not a fan, but they're a popular band I can tolerate. I gave them the thumbs up based on the fact that it would probably make a lot of our rock listeners happy.

Anyway, weirdness is good. Nice packaging or art is not necessary, but it can get your foot in the door. Case in point:



The art reminded me a lot of this band, so big points scored there. Musically he was just weird enough to be interesting (though not something I could see myself listening to). Thumbs up for Dan.

Recording quality is irrelevant to me.





...as anyone who knows me realizes. You can't polish a turd, and I'll take a diamond-in-the-rough over a shiny turd any day.

Taking artistic chances does not necessarily mean inventing new kinds of music. A great example would be this gentleman (who may well be reading this). To play stylistically pure 80s synthpop in 2007 takes guts, but he's also got the songcrafting skills to back it up. Or what about these guys? They hardly reinvented the wheel, but there was no old-time rock and roll band in the 90s that blasted with such unrelenting guts and power.

So there you go. Tips on how to get your CD past The Baron, and onto the radio. Anticlimactic ending to a long-ass post.

The Right Way And The Wrong Way

Just because it's someone's job to help you doesn't mean you need to be rude to them. Why not just say,

"Excuse me, could I get..."

"Excuse me, could you show me..."

"Excuse me, could you help me to..."

Shit, you don't even need to excuse yourself, but at least say what you need help with. Don't just go up and stare, waiting for the person to acknowledge you. Chances are they are busy with something, and don't care too much about people not in need of their help. Which is how you are acting.

To stand silently over someone in this way is rude. Ask for their help, and chances are it will be cheerfully provided.

Fuck You, I'm Shy

I went to the sandwich store before my show tonight and a homeless guy walked in behind me. He was very extroverted and friendly to everyone around him. He must often drop by the store because they all seemed to know him. He helped them restock the drink fridge and made conversation with staff.

I did my best to ignore this man. Because he was homeless and poor? No. Because I don't like excessively friendly strangers trying to strike up conversations with me. Anyone, of any class, acting that way is going to get the cold shoulder from me.

(Side note: One time I was hanging out with N and Slappa and we walked into this thicket of bushes in the South End so that the ladies could have a cigarette away from the bustling sidewalk. It was night time, and the area was not well lit. These two young homeless-ish dudes followed us over and one of them politely asked for money. I shot him the evil eye, because I thought it was sketchy for him to follow us to this dark area where we were obviously seeking privacy. He sensed my uneasiness immediately and clarified that he meant no harm, but just wanted some spare change. He pointed out that my on-edgeness was obvious. I told him that's because I don't like it when strangers follow me into darkly lit areas and start up conversations. He said I must be from this city. The implication being that smaller-town folk would not be put off by something like that. Dude, fuck you. So I'm a big-city asshole because I'm uncomfortable with people I don't know cornering me into conversations in random dark places at night. I guess you win, buddy. I think I gave him some change. I wasn't pissed that he asked me for money, but the stalking and the "from around here" comment made me angry.)

Anyway, all I wanted to do was get a sandwich and leave, so I didn't try and join the conversation that I was physically in the midst of. At one point the homeless dude said to me, "don't forget me". I didn't know what he meant by this, since I hadn't been part of the conversation. "I'm a poor person. Don't forget me". I was confused. Did I offend him? How? Was he asking me for money? Fucking just ask me for money. Maybe he didn't want to do that inside the store.

I went to pay for my sandwich and I was nervous from being stuck in the middle of someone else's conversation. I dropped a dime on the floor I was going to get it but the homeless guy beat me to it. He handed it to me and I thanked him. "He's gonna forget me", he says to the guy behind the counter. All of this "don't forget me" talk is giving me the creeps so I'm like "did I do something bad"? They didn't say anything, so I just walked out. I wanted to get the fuck out of there.

Well, he got his wish because I've been replaying this in my mind ever since. I must have come off as a snobbish guy with money because I didn't join the conversation. But I would have reacted the same way regardless. What pisses me off is this man probably now thinks I have something against the poor, which is not true. I do, on the other hand, have something against extroverted strangers bugging me. Ironically, a different homeless guy had asked me for change directly, only five minutes before this happened. I gave him some and we both got on with our nights.

The next post won't be so negative.

More About Politics

As stated earlier, it's a constant argument between Jello and Johnny in my head. I'm a dove and a hawk. Recent events have really put my mind to the test.

I think there are a lot of people from all walks of life who are concerned about where the world is heading. But when the people leading movements for change look and act scary (necessary or not), the concerned-but-average-Joe/Jane will often want nothing to do with them or their causes. No matter how important, or what the consequences.

If there's an "enemy" that a group of concerned citizens wishes to expose, they have to remember to not look like an even worse enemy themselves, or their actions are sure to backfire. Certain measures of salesmanship and image consciousness are required to get the squares on board, as those people will be needed if anything is to change.

The Album

I forgot to mention, the BB album is mixed/done. We'll have the art soon, and a release show will follow before we go away next month. People will not recognize most of our set, but it'll be good. We cover a lot of ground on this record, and try some things we have not tried before.

Long Weekend

There's one coming up soon. Yesterday, Dyn-o-Mite and I bottled two batches of beer. No crazy strong shit like last time, but two mellow "summer day" type beers. There's a lot.



I think we're going to depart from our usual night time party and unleash one or both batches at an afternoon barbecue, likely Sunday July 1st. At least one batch will probably not be labelled, so that we can store it on ice out on the deck and not have to go to the fridge as much.

In other brewing news, I'm starting a barley wine today. That'll be more along the lines of The Hammer.

I think this is the most bizarre (and possibly scariest) movie I've ever seen.

'Shabba Upgegetten

I've always been interested in languages from the time I was a little kid. If I could do my education over again knowing what I know now, I probably would have studied linguistics instead of science.

English is really all I've got. I have some school French, but that's about it. I envy fluently bilingual people, no matter what the languages are. Where I went to university there was a course on Acadian dialects, and I kick myself for not having taken it (I took French up to second year). That would have been more interesting to me than all of my science courses combined.

Acadian French fascinates me. The fact that you can still hear French spoken at all in rural NS is remarkable to me, but any trip to an Acadian community will tell you that the culture (and by extension, language) is something people see as important to be maintained. Yet, everything is English everywhere around. The linguistic result...

I kind of wish I had my own version of this. The Von Foolishness family came to NS from Germany in the 1700s because the colonial government of the time wanted more Protestants here in case a war broke out with the Catholic Acadians and Mi'kmaq. Since no one was trying to exterminate the Germans or take their language and culture away, they likely didn't see the need to pass these things on to their kids (although my 91-year-old grandmother remembers her grandparents speaking it when she was like, 4 or 5). I think this is too bad, because I'd love to hear a mangled German dialect altered by hundreds of years of English influence, yet steadfastly existing anyhow, against all odds.

Just Quit

Touring to the west coast and back in a two week span will be grueling. It's difficult to be serious about a band while holding down a full time job. As much as I want BB to be successful though, the boundaries are very clear.

Many years ago Old Band had an opportunity to release a split LP with a band from Oregon at minimal expense to us. We had just put out a demo tape and had only a few new songs, so we very quickly wrote a bunch of half-assed ones (most sucked... one was really good, another was sort of ok) and put the thing out. It was not a shining moment for Old Band, what with all the relatively poor new material and inferior versions of old songs.

The band on the other side was a "ska punk" band... not a genre I'm fond of, but whatever. They liked us and were very enthusiastic about the release. They had some phone conversations with белорус Рикк about marketing the record.

Other band: "We can't wait to hit the road so we can sell the record on tour. When are you guys touring?"

белорус Рикк: "We probably won't be, actually. We've all got jobs and stuff."

Other band: "So? Just quit!"

Рикк and I laugh about that comment to this day. They probably assumed a) we worked disposable shit jobs, b) jobs were easy to find here or c) moving to another city for future work was no big deal.

If I worked an easily replaceable job, constant touring would be a great idea. This has never been possible for me, since I've always either been working to save money for school or working to survive. Nowadays, I don't have a job so much as a career. For me to give it up I'd require enough money to retire on, up front.

That might sound like a bummer, but it's really not so bad. I know I'll never need a lucrative band to get by financially, so there is no pressure to write that big hit and "make it". Maybe that's part of why I'm so into this band. They were about my age (actually, older) when they became a huge indie rock buzz band. Prior to that, they operated just like I do... working day jobs, but remaining productive and creatively free.

Will BB get to that level? Probably not... but if nothing else, our new album will have better sound than anything those guys had in their first fifteen years of existence. Which is still not saying much.

Community Theatre

Go see this!

Tag

I often read the newspaper and see people complaining about graffiti, especially downtown. To be honest, I don't know what the fuss is about. Who cares? Graffiti is everywhere, it's just a part of life. Unless it has an offensive message I could care less about it.

"But Ash," you say, "a mailbox is one thing, but what if it was your house?"

My house already is tagged, and I don't give a shit. I live in an urban landscape, so this is what I expect. I admit tags might be unsightly on a suburban home, but that's not what we're talking about here.

Blogs are all about throwing out unfounded, cockeyed opinions. So here's one: the people complaining about tagging are old and like their walls, mailboxes and other public things to look plain. The younger generation feels less strongly about this because they all have ADD and any plain surface is unpleasant for them to look at. Everything has to look really busy, everywhere, all the time. That's why intricate public murals get tagged less often. Some say it's "respect for another artist", and that might be true to some extent, but I think it's mainly a question of busy vs blank.

I have to say I get a kick out of old people writing whiny letters to the editor.

"Because of laws today, kids aren't disciplined enough in the home. They never learn respect."

In the old days, a parent could beat their child senseless every single day for no reason except their own twisted pleasure, with no recourse. I guess that's what it takes to teach respect. *Note intense sarcasm.

I could go on and on about whining old people. But then I'd just be one of them.

The Baron Talks Dollars'n'Cents

One thing that would be fun would be to teach economics at an ultra-ultra-liberal arts college. Here's the final exam I'd give them:

Answer ONE of the following:

a) Design a new economic system for the world which does not use money.

b) Explain why an economic system without money could not work for the entire world.

c) *places chair on top of desk*

In general, I just like the idea of patently absurd exam questions. Questions that test creativity rather than rote knowledge; that could be prepared for, but don't have to be.

Nice to see the hippie in me is not dead. I saw a group of hippies earlier today and felt a profound cultural disconnect from them. I felt really square and conservative, like I was part of whatever problem it is they are trying to solve. I guess none of that stuff bothers me, except that it makes me feel old.

Nice continuity to this post.

Day Three

Day three presented more challenges than I'd anticipated. I felt like we'd gone in well-prepared, but a couple of unforseen things came up. We're doing a new song that lacks bass (second drum set instead). We played it well on Saturday, but a second listen revealed a little less low end than we wanted in certain parts. This left us scrambling to come up with an appropriate part as the clock ticked away. My musical learning disabilities were on full display.

Eventually we got the job done and moved on to the final vocal track. It's a new song that really flies in the face of everything we've done to this point (no hints, but it will be the last track on the album). Because it's so left field we were at a loss for how to make the vocals work. We had to "think outside the box", to use an atrocious cliché. The result is a little unorthodox, but awesome.

In the end, the above delays caught up with us and we were not able to finish the job in the alloted three days. Luckily, J was able to pencil us in for a few hours tomorrow night. That should be all we need.

Between takes I wandered off into the woods and made a rock-n-roll inukshuk.



Note the chunk of moss being impaled by a stick. That's supposed to be a guitar. The pointy rock on top is supposed to be a head with a mohawk.

Recording is intense.

Hey, I like them too. It just seems weird to me to hold a celebratory event for a band that is already the most celebrated of all time. No matter how much you like the band, don't you feel just a little dumb celebrating something so obvious?

Hooray for oxygen!!

Hooray for gravity!!

Fuck. Just listen to them at home and enjoy it already. Or at least recognize your lameness.

Day Two

Music is done, eight songs. Tobe has sung four already, four to come tomorrow. J has done great work, putting in some very long days doing nothing but listening to BB for twelve hours straight. And you thought you had a shitty job!

Anyway, it's sounding awesome. We recorded this epic stoner jam that clocks in at just under ten minutes. At first I had some reservations about it, but after some overdubbed guitars and vocals, I'm a believer. There's also some typical BB material... some a little simpler, some a little more complicated. There will be surprises in store.

Just you wait.

Day One In The Books

We did well. The new stuff sounds great... J is a magician. We've done music for four out of eight tracks, and vocals for part of one. This was over a 12 hour session with a lot of set-up time. Things will move faster over the next two days, but I'm anticipating a couple of equally long sessions.

In the meantime, I've added these two gentlemen to the Archive-and-back playlist:

Being Bad

Tomorrow, we begin a marathon three day recording session. By the end, we shall have recorded our debut full-length album.

To prepare, I'm listening to a lot of



He makes



Look like

Hammer Postmortem

Another good party at our house. People seemed to enjoy the homebrew in all its over-the-top glory. I don't think I'll make a really strong one for a while though. That last one almost wasn't even beer. It was like beer-ish mead.

We have two more on the go right now, both light summer ales. Neither will be of such an obscene alcohol concentration (the yeast can't handle it). More on this in the coming weeks.

What If They Covered Each Other's Material?

Unthinkable, yet fascinating to imagine.

What say we assign M track 17 and track 5. RP gets track 1 and track 5.

I believe I have what you call an overactive imagination.