Fuck You, I'm Shy
I went to the sandwich store before my show tonight and a homeless guy walked in behind me. He was very extroverted and friendly to everyone around him. He must often drop by the store because they all seemed to know him. He helped them restock the drink fridge and made conversation with staff.
I did my best to ignore this man. Because he was homeless and poor? No. Because I don't like excessively friendly strangers trying to strike up conversations with me. Anyone, of any class, acting that way is going to get the cold shoulder from me.
(Side note: One time I was hanging out with N and Slappa and we walked into this thicket of bushes in the South End so that the ladies could have a cigarette away from the bustling sidewalk. It was night time, and the area was not well lit. These two young homeless-ish dudes followed us over and one of them politely asked for money. I shot him the evil eye, because I thought it was sketchy for him to follow us to this dark area where we were obviously seeking privacy. He sensed my uneasiness immediately and clarified that he meant no harm, but just wanted some spare change. He pointed out that my on-edgeness was obvious. I told him that's because I don't like it when strangers follow me into darkly lit areas and start up conversations. He said I must be from this city. The implication being that smaller-town folk would not be put off by something like that. Dude, fuck you. So I'm a big-city asshole because I'm uncomfortable with people I don't know cornering me into conversations in random dark places at night. I guess you win, buddy. I think I gave him some change. I wasn't pissed that he asked me for money, but the stalking and the "from around here" comment made me angry.)
Anyway, all I wanted to do was get a sandwich and leave, so I didn't try and join the conversation that I was physically in the midst of. At one point the homeless dude said to me, "don't forget me". I didn't know what he meant by this, since I hadn't been part of the conversation. "I'm a poor person. Don't forget me". I was confused. Did I offend him? How? Was he asking me for money? Fucking just ask me for money. Maybe he didn't want to do that inside the store.
I went to pay for my sandwich and I was nervous from being stuck in the middle of someone else's conversation. I dropped a dime on the floor I was going to get it but the homeless guy beat me to it. He handed it to me and I thanked him. "He's gonna forget me", he says to the guy behind the counter. All of this "don't forget me" talk is giving me the creeps so I'm like "did I do something bad"? They didn't say anything, so I just walked out. I wanted to get the fuck out of there.
Well, he got his wish because I've been replaying this in my mind ever since. I must have come off as a snobbish guy with money because I didn't join the conversation. But I would have reacted the same way regardless. What pisses me off is this man probably now thinks I have something against the poor, which is not true. I do, on the other hand, have something against extroverted strangers bugging me. Ironically, a different homeless guy had asked me for change directly, only five minutes before this happened. I gave him some and we both got on with our nights.
The next post won't be so negative.
I did my best to ignore this man. Because he was homeless and poor? No. Because I don't like excessively friendly strangers trying to strike up conversations with me. Anyone, of any class, acting that way is going to get the cold shoulder from me.
(Side note: One time I was hanging out with N and Slappa and we walked into this thicket of bushes in the South End so that the ladies could have a cigarette away from the bustling sidewalk. It was night time, and the area was not well lit. These two young homeless-ish dudes followed us over and one of them politely asked for money. I shot him the evil eye, because I thought it was sketchy for him to follow us to this dark area where we were obviously seeking privacy. He sensed my uneasiness immediately and clarified that he meant no harm, but just wanted some spare change. He pointed out that my on-edgeness was obvious. I told him that's because I don't like it when strangers follow me into darkly lit areas and start up conversations. He said I must be from this city. The implication being that smaller-town folk would not be put off by something like that. Dude, fuck you. So I'm a big-city asshole because I'm uncomfortable with people I don't know cornering me into conversations in random dark places at night. I guess you win, buddy. I think I gave him some change. I wasn't pissed that he asked me for money, but the stalking and the "from around here" comment made me angry.)
Anyway, all I wanted to do was get a sandwich and leave, so I didn't try and join the conversation that I was physically in the midst of. At one point the homeless dude said to me, "don't forget me". I didn't know what he meant by this, since I hadn't been part of the conversation. "I'm a poor person. Don't forget me". I was confused. Did I offend him? How? Was he asking me for money? Fucking just ask me for money. Maybe he didn't want to do that inside the store.
I went to pay for my sandwich and I was nervous from being stuck in the middle of someone else's conversation. I dropped a dime on the floor I was going to get it but the homeless guy beat me to it. He handed it to me and I thanked him. "He's gonna forget me", he says to the guy behind the counter. All of this "don't forget me" talk is giving me the creeps so I'm like "did I do something bad"? They didn't say anything, so I just walked out. I wanted to get the fuck out of there.
Well, he got his wish because I've been replaying this in my mind ever since. I must have come off as a snobbish guy with money because I didn't join the conversation. But I would have reacted the same way regardless. What pisses me off is this man probably now thinks I have something against the poor, which is not true. I do, on the other hand, have something against extroverted strangers bugging me. Ironically, a different homeless guy had asked me for change directly, only five minutes before this happened. I gave him some and we both got on with our nights.
The next post won't be so negative.
posted by the baron ash von foolishness at 2:43 AM
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