To Be Or Not To Be

To be or not to be vegetarian. Am I or aren't I? I guess I'm not. I used to be. I think it's a good idea, for reasons that would be redundant to document here. In fact, there's really nothing about it I have to comment on, except that I've noticed lately that I become a carnivore when I'm very busy or placed under stress for long periods of time. Otherwise, given a relaxed environment it's not something I'm into. Weird. Isn't that pattern a little similar to substance abuse? I think I just feel entitled to decandence if I'm having a rough time with something. Late last year when I was having major relationship troubles, I drank constantly. Those problems are behind me, and last week's road trip was only my second time drinking in 2006.

Abusive drinking habits can be subtle. I've never felt like I wasn't going to make it through the day without a drink. That said, I've had a lot of times (eg, right now) where I've thought to myself "I don't have to drive anywhere... not working... no plans... I must get drunk immediately". This is where I was last December. I found it was stopping me from getting anything done. I couldn't communicate with people properly, and I couldn't change my plans at the last minute if driving was involved. Thus, a little bit of freedom was lost. I just felt useless. Drunk by myself.

So I decided not to do that anymore. I find drinking fun, but unless it's social it depresses the hell out of me. That doesn't make it any less tempting though.