Speaking From The Pompitous Of Love
Love. We use this word from time to time, but what does it mean? Perhaps no one can say for sure. I'm going to take a few moments to speculate on it anyway, using the following metaphorical story.
Dating is like getting a present on Christmas day, or maybe your birthday. But the catch is, the powers that be have a strange sense of humor. Sometimes you unwrap the thing and there's nothing but a lump of coal, or an ill-fitting sweater some obscure aunt thought you might like. Or nothing at all.
Sometimes you open the box and there's a present inside. A good present! Something you've always wanted. Something shiny and bright that you saw in TV commercials but never thought anyone would get you. You take the present out, and it's the centre of your world for days. It's all you think about, all you want.
But as often happens with popular toys, the shine can wear off quickly. You wake up one morning and realize the thing is in the corner of your room collecting dust... and that's all there was in the package you opened. You're done.
Here's a true story: one Christmas I got something from my aunt that seemed really hokey at the time. It was a little toolbox (maybe 5X7") shaped like a Volkswagen bug. It had a handle on top, and if you put in batteries, you can even use it as a flashlight!
Now, this came from someone notorious for giving ugly or impractical gifts. I laughed it off at first... "Oh god, not another piece of junk from her". It looked nice though. Kind of cute. I kept it where I could see it. I figured it was a conversation piece, if nothing else.
Over time, I started to see the value of this awesome little car. I'm not much of a handyman, so this is basically all the tools I have. It's helped me repair guitars, household appliances... all kinds of things. It was my only non-candle light source during the week of White Juan (big winter storm).
I'm looking down at the toolbox now, and I think it's one of the most awesome Christmas presents I've ever received, surpassing even the mini-Galaxian I got when I was nine.
Dating is like getting a present on Christmas day, or maybe your birthday. But the catch is, the powers that be have a strange sense of humor. Sometimes you unwrap the thing and there's nothing but a lump of coal, or an ill-fitting sweater some obscure aunt thought you might like. Or nothing at all.
Sometimes you open the box and there's a present inside. A good present! Something you've always wanted. Something shiny and bright that you saw in TV commercials but never thought anyone would get you. You take the present out, and it's the centre of your world for days. It's all you think about, all you want.
But as often happens with popular toys, the shine can wear off quickly. You wake up one morning and realize the thing is in the corner of your room collecting dust... and that's all there was in the package you opened. You're done.
Here's a true story: one Christmas I got something from my aunt that seemed really hokey at the time. It was a little toolbox (maybe 5X7") shaped like a Volkswagen bug. It had a handle on top, and if you put in batteries, you can even use it as a flashlight!
Now, this came from someone notorious for giving ugly or impractical gifts. I laughed it off at first... "Oh god, not another piece of junk from her". It looked nice though. Kind of cute. I kept it where I could see it. I figured it was a conversation piece, if nothing else.
Over time, I started to see the value of this awesome little car. I'm not much of a handyman, so this is basically all the tools I have. It's helped me repair guitars, household appliances... all kinds of things. It was my only non-candle light source during the week of White Juan (big winter storm).
I'm looking down at the toolbox now, and I think it's one of the most awesome Christmas presents I've ever received, surpassing even the mini-Galaxian I got when I was nine.
Galaxian is long gone, but I still use those pliers, screwdrivers, allen keys and adjustable wrench on a regular basis. And I probably always will. It's transcended both its initial goofy cuteness AND its long-term practicality to become something I have a certain attatchment to.
THAT is love.
Now go get it.
posted by the baron ash von foolishness at 11:00 AM
2 Comments:
Dude! You just compared love to a box of TOOLS.
Do you not see the sexual metaphor in THAT?
Or perhaps we should just examine the fact that you defined love based on your relationship with a box of tools
It's funny, when I was writing that I considered the possibility it might be taken in a bad way. That's another great talent of mine... saying nice, wonderful things in the shittiest possible way.
Sometimes there's a fine line between "clever understatement" and "insultingly gross oversimplification".
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