Self Abuse

Getting back to the post about stress and carnivorism...

After the day-long recording session on Thursday I felt pretty spent. Physically and mentally. In this fatigued state, I got it into my head that I should eat something really decadent. So on the way back from Darkside I decide to get a donair from this notorious pizza place. They reportedly have one that weighs 2.5 kilos.

My eyes were very wide and I wasn't thinking clearly. I ordered the "super". I have to say, this object was just ridiculous. It was as big as a football and about twice as heavy. Even though I was very hungry, I could only eat about a fifth of it. In the end, it took me no less than five tries to consume the whole thing. Having eaten all of the cheese early in the going, I refreshed it with some of my own. I had to do this twice.

I thought about throwing it out... several times. Even though I stopped enjoying it part way through the second session, I felt bound by some weird duty to finish. I just can't leave a task half-done, no matter how unpleasant.

I feel gross. The thing wasn't even any good. It's not satisfying to me on any level. I feel like a little kid getting punished for smoking cigarettes by being forced to smoke a whole pack at once.

...whatever that feels like.