I Need A Vacation

I'm reapproaching the December 2005 mindset. Lack of time to myself is wearing me out. Last week we talked about doing a RF$ tonight. As of the end of Saturday, no one had come forward with a set plan on what to do. With the event only one day away, I figured it was a write-off, and planned on a quiet Sunday night. I was surprised to learn that the idea hadn't been given up, and that we'd have to come up with something the night before. Which I was happy to do; we need money for the tour. Yet at the same time, losing that night by myself was profoundly depressing. All I wanted to do yesterday afternoon was drink, but it ended up I couldn't. Today that feeling was twice as strong, and I can't do it tonight either (hauling gear with car) or tomorrow (practice) or Thursday (more practice).

Maybe this is good. I've done very well sticking to my new years' resolution of not drinking by myself anymore. It so happens that's all I want to do right now, and circumstances are preventing it. Maybe by Wednesday I won't feel this way.

This isn't the only symptom that something is wrong. My eating habits have been brutal lately. Just like December. No will to cook, buy groceries or clean the apartment (which the landlord will be showing to people in a week and a half). Just like December. But I can't blame it on relationship problems this time.

I hate complainy blog entries. I admire people who are stoic and never complain about anything. Or at least do so in a private forum. So, I guess I've kind of dropped the ball on that.

On the bright side of things, I got through work today without getting a single headache! And no coffee, either.