Why?

BB is the only band I've ever been in where writing songs is a prolonged, detailed process. In almost every other band I've been in, the potential has been there to complete a new song or two every practice. I've long since accepted that BB needs to take a different path to get things done the way we want.

So far, our efforts have been worth it. Everything we've recorded has exceeded my expectations. To be honest, I don't often have a clear idea of what our songs even sound like, what with playing so loud live and in practice. Then when we do a nice recording it's like "whoa... that's us?".

Playing memorable shows and having nice recordings to leave behind (as well as hanging out with an interesting bunch of folks) are the only goals I have in BB. Out of all the bands I've been in that I really cared about BB has one unique distinction - my complete indifference to what anybody thinks of us. I'm completely focused on our end of the bargain, the goals mentioned above. I can't say I get all that bummed out if no one comes to see us play, or someone says we're just a bunch of noise. If there are two people at our show, I will thoroughly enjoy giving them their money's worth. Conversely, playing big events, or with popular bands, or for influential people does not give me any extra lift. If we promote/put on a good show and play good songs, that's all we can control. I'm not worried if the audience doesn't get it, and it's also lost on me if a show leads to some sort of big break. Outside of performance and the creative process itself (you need them there) I don't have a lot of highs or lows in the band. Why is this? Maybe it's because the songs are so carefully planned. Because everything's so communal, the final product is less of a direct reflection on me compared to some bands I've been in. I feel like if we don't get over, I don't have to take the fall alone. This keeps my feelings nice and even, and allows me not to get caught up in trying to impress people.